I have spent time over the years learning more about myself and those around me from a relationship management perspective. First of all because it was my job and then because I wanted a better and more fulfilling relationship with my husband and with my children too.

In that journey, I learned about ‘Personality Types’. The four types are classified in a few different ways, but in short are:

• Choleric/ Dominance (outgoing/task oriented)
• Sanguine/ Influencer (outgoing/ people-oriented)
• Phlegmatic/ Steadiness (reserved/ people-oriented)
• Melancholic/ Conscientious (reserved/ task-oriented)

I determined that my husband, who is an architect and very creative person, is reserved and hugely task oriented (Melancholic). I learned that he can lean on the more pessimistic (cautious) side of life and that has perfectionist tendencies. However, he is organised, self-reliant, independent, detailed and incredibly loyal.
Continue reading The Stories We Tell Ourselves →

I’ve been home from a useful work-trip to Europe for about a month. The first two weeks back were full of purpose, as the trip was fresh in my mind. Then I hit a slump.

I periodically hit slumps. They creep up on me without me noticing it, until I realise I’m having trouble getting anything done, that I don’t feel an emotional connection to my projects, and that even as neutral a skill as “reading comprehension” has deserted me. I push onward, but instead of this helping warm me up and get me into the swing of it, I continue to churn out something that inexplicably has no life in it. If I’m trying to write in this state, it’s as if my memory only lasts a few seconds, so by the time I’ve gotten to the next sentence, I’ve no idea what I wrote before, and when I re-read it, I don’t know how it connects to what follows.
Continue reading Accepting The Lord’s Yoke →

I got into trouble recently. A group of women from my church were having a conversation on work-loads and job-divisions and I decided to bring up the idea of a marriage of uses–a partnership of duties between a husband and wife–as described in Conjugial Love 176. I had only gotten a few sentences into the idea when my comments sparked an explosion from another woman on how women should not be forced to remain at home and how the Heavenly Doctrines are so out of touch with our modern times!

Now I am as conflict-averse a person as they come, so instead of finishing my point or clarifying my idea, I ducked my head and ran away (figuratively).

The scenario bothered me for weeks. Mostly because I knew I had hurt my relationship with a friend but partially because I recognized this as an example of a cultural mindset I battle: everyone is painted as an extremist–no one seems to recognize that a person can agree (and disagree) with multiple “sides” of an issue. One little comment and you are instantly boxed into one of only two possible and incompatible options.
Continue reading Don’t Box Me, Please! →

I am a mother of young children and wife of a pastor, and I’ve been thinking about spiritual community lately. While I value the truths unique to the New Church, I think it’s important to support the good spiritual practices my neighbors and I share. Belonging to a specific denomination can feel lonely, especially in an increasingly secular country and generation. Humans are hard-wired to find “us-them” distinctions, but I think mental re-wiring is good for me sometimes so that I can look on friends of other religions as fellow members of a “Church-capital-C.”

In this vein, I have two anecdotes to offer.
Continue reading Our Greater Spiritual Community →