Are You a Victim?

Are you a victim?

Slightly? Partially ? Entirely? Is it interfering with your life as you try to enter a more spiritual state with the help of the Lord? Or are you a ‘Me Too’, forever identifying with states of anger, blame and acrimony? There is nothing wrong with confronting someone who has harmed you physically or emotionally, but to brood on resentment indefinitely and let it lay claim to your life is not part of the Lord’s great plan for you. I know that this goes against the grain of much psychological practice which encourages people to feel that they have been diminished by others and endlessly to analyse their hurt in all its toxic details. But if we wish to attain sound emotional and spiritual health we have got to move on. For the truly stricken this might not be possible without intervention, but we need, as a primary goal, to escape from our bondage.

‘Bondage’ might seem too strong a word until we explore what being a victim entails. It involves harboring a strong sense of grievance at having been injured. We brood because we cannot forgive, and to live in a constant state of unforgiveness is forbidden by the teachings of the Word and The Writings. We are required to forgive seventy times seven, but how? Maybe, we can come to the realization that we are all human, living in mediate good. No one is perfect, and we are all bound to make mistakes. If we earnestly ask the Lord to free us from our stubborn negativity, He has promised to answer our prayers.

Sometimes being a victim encourages jealousy when we observe that many people have more, or manage better than we do. Instead of rejoicing in the good fortune of our friends, we are caught up in a covetous wail of ‘Why not me?’ Our attitude towards life becomes warped as it pivots endlessly on ourselves. Self-absorption takes the place of ‘Love your neighbor’, as it diminishes our sensitivity and kindness. This can breed entitlement when we feel that we have suffered and must be compensated: by the Lord, life, and those whom we encounter. Our victimhood demands attention, sympathy and consideration. We become increasingly self-limiting.

There are many strands in life. It is a tapestry of the Lord’s provision, full of promise and possibility. To allow ourselves to become absorbed in victimhood excludes bright colors, original patterns, intense creativity. We need to repeat as our creed ‘This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it’. We need to let go.

About Verna Brown

Verna Brown was born in the north of Scotland in 1942 and followed the sun with her parents and grandmother to Durban, South Africa in 1948. She joined the New Church at 20, and was married to Kenneth Brown in 1964 in the Musgrave Road Church. They have 4 married children and 8 grandchildren. Verna has a DLitt et Phil degree, as well as a further degree in education. She has taught and lectured, and loves her lively Sunday School class at Buccleuch in Gauteng (Transvaal) as well as the classes she offers in her own home for U3A (the University of the Third Age: i.e. retirees). She looks forward to contributing to New Christian Woman as a mature (?) member. Greetings to you all.

One thought on “Are You a Victim?

  1. Hello Verna! (We met at last summer’s European Assembly.) Your article shows the wisdom of a mature woman, who has lived a long time and learned valuable lessons along the way.
    I especially like this: “Self-absorption takes the place of ‘Love your neighbor’, as it diminishes our sensitivity and kindness.” That’s one lesson I need to learn repeatedly. My mother used to suggest that to lift myself out of bad mood, I should do something helpful for somebody else. It does work…

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