When I get anxious I withdraw. Or maybe it’s simpler to say that only when I’m not anxious do I fully participate. There’s something small to be anxious about almost all the time. Something to be processing, holding, understanding, or accomplishing, and a need to do it “right.”
This last year has been an anxious one for me, and so one of near constant withdrawal – even as the loneliness and isolation has become a part of the problem. I have gotten a lot of things “right” this year in terms of my priorities – my kids and my marriage are pretty solid. We are happy in our day to day interactions. But something’s been missing for me, and I’ve been reflecting recently that I think it comes from too much separation. I’ve been holding back so as not to be overwhelmed, but held back so much that I’ve let go of some of the things that make life full and joyful. Continue reading A Life in the World
God leaves us in freedom to choose heaven or hell – even in every moment of daily life, and going on to eternity. We are spiritual beings, and as such have connection to heaven and hell while living on earth. We are able to choose which direction we turn for our influence, as the quotes below describe.
“Each of us is a spirit. That is the source of our thinking and intending. This means that the spiritual world is right where we are, not distanced from us in the least. In short, as far as the deeper levels of our minds are concerned we are all in that world, surrounded by angels and spirits there.”
Divine Love and Wisdom 92
Continue reading Choose Your Own Adventure: Heaven or Hell
I’m no evangelist. I tend to be quiet and introverted, and am usually too busy following my kids around to have much of a deep conversation – especially with people I don’t already know well. But that’s also why chasing my kids around suits me well. 🙂
Don’t get me wrong – I have plenty of big opinions when you get me one-on-one. And I can be plenty stubborn and pushy about what is right, and why I am the one who is right. And I care about and think about things deeply. But, because of my personality, that just doesn’t come out in my usual conversations.
Being raised in a ministers’ family (with a very outgoing, ready-to-talk-and-get-into-deep-things-quickly kind of mom) and now married to a minister, I have often struggled with feeling like I was the lame part of the pair in terms of sharing the Word. It’s not that I don’t think I’m doing good work: being a stay-at-home mom and fully immersed in the life of my kids is exactly what I want to do, and I feel useful doing it. But, if so many of my family member have poured their lives into sharing and spreading the Word, where is my role in that? It’s a question I’ve thought about frequently. Since I’m not comfortable pushing into other people’s business and (even if I wanted it) I don’t have a venue for public speaking like my husband (or a conversation that lasts more than 5 minutes for that matter) I don’t really share my experiences, thoughts, or feelings about the Lord and the Word. Continue reading Finding My Way of Sharing the New Church
We each fill many roles. There can be a lot of pressure to “get it right” in every aspect of life. The pressure can build to succeed in any role – student, wife, mother, co-worker, sister, friend, daughter. Sometimes it builds up in many places simultaneously and can be crippling. But, so long as we continue looking to the Lord and striving towards the long term goal of growing in love towards a heavenly life, “failure” is a useful necessity. For our Easter Sunday church service at New Church Westville that was the point of the sermon, which you can listen to here. In some ways even Jesus had to “fail” to accomplish His long term success. When we focus on moving forward and following the Lord failure helps us to grow in ways we never could otherwise and ultimately reach our heavenly goal.
“The fact that those who are being reformed are brought into a state of not knowing any truth, that is, into a state of desolation, insomuch that they experience grief and despair, and that at this point for the first time they receive comfort and help from the Lord, is something that is not known at the present day for the reason that few are being reformed. Those who are such that they are able to be reformed are brought into this state, if not during this life then in the next…. Continue reading We Must Fail To Succeed