For many years I’ve really liked the analogy of being able to boil things down, to get to the heart of an experience or interaction. To come to the center of an idea or feeling, to a point where all of the water of confusion or disconnection is able to evaporate, and you’re left with the core of what’s going on. The center or the seed.

Imagine two people who are coming home after a hard day. It could be two adults, or friends, or a parent and child. They both hope to connect but are feeling overwhelmed and layered with frustration, resentment, or expectations, and the good desire to connect and feel safe is buried. When the two people start to interact it is likely that their movements and their choice of words will be caked down by irritations that distort the good love of connecting. If either of the two can begin to calm themselves and be a little thoughtful and have at least a small heart of gratitude, they can both begin to shift and work through these heavy layers. They can eventually be able to say, “oh, I see where you are coming from and what you’re going through, and I love you.” They can grow in their understanding of each other and find a good connection.

When I remember to regard others with respect and believe that they are doing the best they can with what they have, it is easier to love them and work to understand and connect with them in an honest way. Continue reading Boiling It Down →

“They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run; and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31

I was gifted with the opportunity to attend many New Church camps when I was younger. At these camps I learned a lot of songs about the Lord, and one of these songs had this quote woven into it. The song still sings inside my chest like steady drumming. It has kept my footsteps strong and my heart hopeful.

This quote’s beautiful description of the joys that can accompany waiting on the Lord, really brings this prayer to life for me. It helps me step into the Lord’s sense of time, and the trust that life requires. It helps me remember that the Lord is the Master of time and that He provides everything I need. It loosens the impatience I sometimes get with the pace of my life; from getting out the door on time, to having a partner to share this life with, and even the sometimes comforting thought that I get to go to heaven some day and take a long nap.

When I become too set in my schedule and stress about timing, I become miserable and anxious. I cannot imagine how everything is going to get done and no one or nothing is going to be seriously hurt, or left out. But it works out. Somehow I look back and can’t believe I made it through. I get the actual feeling that the Lord has just carried me to this new point, and that everything is alright. And it’s always going to be alright. I savor these moments, because inevitably I will cycle back into the hard workings of life, and get caught up in the lengthy to-do list that burdens my multitasking mind.
Continue reading Winged Song →

I love the part in The Fox and the Hound movie when the fox says that he is independent, and the young dog says that he is too. And then they decide that they will be independent together. This is the basis for a really healthy friendship, and I believe it is what we long for in our relationships with others.

We have a strong and healthy desire to be completely ourselves, to decide and discover who we are, and what we will choose to do. Independence is defined as “freedom from outside control or support.” We want to live in freedom, while at the same time being able to feel closely connected to someone else; to love, understand and unite with them, and not lose our sense of self.
Continue reading Dependence and Independence →

In our world, I notice that strength shows up in one way that is not always recognized. It shows up in our ability to be real and present with our feelings.

There is this typical and overwhelming cultural idea that a ‘strong’ woman is extremely confident and unmoving. She can do everything and not break a sweat. No one can mess with her. She is above all things and is non-emotional. She doesn’t cry. She is strong enough to hide her personality, which makes her mysterious and passive. She can push through any pain and is totally independent. This is not the type of woman I want as a role model for my daughters, or myself.
Continue reading Thank You For Hurting →