I grew up praying often.  My family regularly prayed together – saying and singing blessings before meals, saying the Lord’s Prayer together, using the offices in the liturgy for the call-and-response-style formal prayers during family worship, or even singing a little prayerful tune while stopped at a red light that my Mom made up because we were late for one thing or another.

“Lord, we need a green light; please let the light turn green, thank you!”

And even today I find myself quietly talking to the Lord, asking for patience, or energy, or perhaps more accurately – just company as I bumble through a sticky interaction.  I find it very centering to talk to Someone throughout my day.

Recently one of my kids was upset about thing after thing going wrong and tearfully said something to the effect of hoping that the Lord would bless him by giving him what he wanted.  He was having a moment of feeling clear that he was working hard at doing the right thing and surely if the Lord loved him this should be demonstrated by getting what he wanted.

I didn’t have the answer I wanted in that moment, but I said something about it being always good to pray and to talk to the Lord about things, but that even if we don’t get what we want that isn’t a sign that the Lord doesn’t love us.

In the weeks since that conversation I’ve been thinking about prayer.  Even as a kid I didn’t love the song praying for the light to turn green. It felt technically wrong to me – the traffic patterns had to flow and follow their rules, and it wasn’t any kind of fair for the Lord to change that for us! What would that mean for the other drivers who were probably also late?

And yet my perspective on the value of singing the song has changed. As I experience more of those charged and anxious car rides (or meal prep times, or waiting in a line, etc.) with several upset kids in tow I’m coming to appreciate a different “point” to the prayerful song. I find prayer is helpful throughout my day not because it solves my problems, but when it makes the difficult moments more tolerable, more connected, less alone.  I don’t believe that if we pray “right” and ask the Lord for what we want that we will get that thing.  But I have come to know and feel the value of praying because it helps calm me and makes me feel less alone.  When I talk to the Lord in prayer I’m reminded that it’s okay to be late to an appointment; that despite the upset of hunger, we will have food once the pasta boils; that those hard moments are tolerable because I’m not alone or “wrong” just because I’m having a difficult time. 

And sometimes singing a prayerful little tune does sort of miraculously calm me in the moment – almost as if the light had been changed just for me! Maybe I just need to work out some new words for my own prayer to sing in the hard moments. I want to keep working on it, but I think I’ll try out something like this:

“Lord, may we have grace, please? We’re feeling overwhelmed, thank you!”

“Lord, we’re feeling stressed out; please may Your grace flow in, thank you!”