The Lord designed it such that people are supposed to be teamed up to take on the world together. People are not meant to be alone. Men are not meant to be alone, and women are not meant to be alone. The Lord intends for everyone to find a teammate along the way.
“For this cause shall a man leave father and mother and cleave until his wife and they shall be one flesh.” Genesis 2:24
So why are some people alone? Freedom is the obvious answer. If the Lord wanted it to be so, He could just make it so that every person found their partner and lived happily ever after, but He values our freedom above our happiness and even above our salvation. It is a necessary part of life for us to choose Him, for us to choose each other, and for us to make each decision in freedom.
Now that isn’t to say that the single people of the world have freely chosen this path. Some have chosen to be single — but that’s not why I’m single — and I’m sure there are a lot of other people who would choose to be married if they could.
Why are there people who want marriage and are not married? Did something go wrong? Single people are not lesser people. The Lord loves everyone. Though single people aren’t entitled to less of His love, do they perhaps feel it less? Are they as happy and fulfilled?
That the state of marriage is to be preferred is because this state exists from creation; because its origin is the marriage of good and truth; because its correspondence is with the marriage of the Lord and the Church; because the Church and conjugial love are constant companions; because its use is more excellent than the uses of all else in creation, for thence is the propagation of the human race according to order, and also of the angelic heaven, this being from the human race. Add to this, that marriage is the fullness of man; for by its means man becomes a complete man. (Conjugial Love 156)
Depending on your current state this passage could be powerful, or disheartening, or downright depressing.
Later in CL 156:
That from creation there was implanted in man and woman an inclination to conjunction as into a one, and also the faculty thereof, and that these are in man and woman still, is evident from the Book of Creation and at the same time from the Lord’s words. In the Book of Creation, which is called Genesis, we read:
Jehovah God built the rib which He had taken from man into a woman, and brought her to the man. And the man said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; her name shall be called Ishah [woman], because she was taken out of Ish, man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh. Gen. II. 22-4.
 From these passages it is evident that woman was created out of man, and that there is in both an inclination and a faculty of reuniting themselves into a one. That the reunion is into one man is also evident from the Book of Creation where both together are called Man; for we read, In the day that God created man, male and female created He them, and called their name Man. It is said here, He called their name Adam, but in the Hebrew language, Adam and Man are the same word.
It’s clear that the ideal state is the married state. If it is ideal, it is what the Lord hopes for for all of us — yet He will not take away our freedom and just grant us that marriage. Why do some people who are following the Lord and His Word get to be married and other people do not?
Marriage is special. Marriage is ideal. Though some of the ideas surrounding it have been completely misused and abused, this does not negate the importance and use of marriage. That’s one of the reasons I care so much about marriage — and wish to be married myself: I want to reclaim marriage and use it to build and create something that is valuable to the Lord.
Going back to Conjugial Love 156, is it really saying that being married is the only way to become a complete human? Unfortunately, this idea gets reinforced if you live in a community that puts such a strong emphasis on marriage
I love living in a society that loves and supports marriage and recognizes its value and importance, but something has got to be done about the inferiority complex that single people often develop.
Note that the passage says the origin of marriage is from the marriage of good and truth.
As married or single people, as humans, the Lord wants to conjoin good and truth in our lives. The passage is truly indicating that it is by conjoining good to truth that man becomes a complete man.
While the emphasis on marriage is a good one, wouldn’t it be amazing to see more of an emphasis on supporting the conjunction of good and truth in our neighbors?
Today is Valentine’s Day, and that can be a difficult reminder for a lot of single people — especially when it feels like romance and relationships are being pushed in our faces. I’m not suggesting that we change Valentines Day because some people are offended by it, nor am I suggesting changing Mother’s Day or any other holiday that isn’t a universal joy for everyone on the planet. Even people who celebrate the birth of the Lord can have a hard time with Christmas, but we don’t call if off or try to change the nature of it because someone wants it to be different.
What I am hoping for is a focus on what the Lord is looking for in us: the marriage of good and truth. The marriage between one man and one woman is the precious jewel of human life and the repository of the Christian religion (CL 457), but that is because it springs from the marriage of good and truth. Conjugial Love 457 goes on to say, “This makes the inmost of his life, being the life of wisdom cohabiting with its love, and of love cohabiting with its wisdom. Hence it is the life of the delights of both. In a word, by this love man is a living soul.”
We become living souls by allowing the Lord to unite good and truth in our lives. This is something every person should be striving toward, married or single.
I will leave you with this question: What does it look like to be supportive of the marriage of good and truth in individuals? And not just supporting, but valuing and appreciating those efforts as sincerely as we celebrate the union of two people!
“As the bridegroom rejoiceth over the bride, so shall thy God rejoice over thee.” (Isaiah 62:5)